Anonymous asked: I really want to meet people outside of my city, and maybe develop an ldr with someone eventually if I find the right person out there. But I don't know how to meet people long distance, online? Where can I find someone interested in an ldr? Where do you meet you SO online?? Please help!
I really really want to stress this. You DON’T go looking for a LDR. NONE of us did. NONE of us wanted to find out that our SOs lived across the state, across the country, over an international border or even over an ocean. This distance is NOT easy to deal with.
Yes, you appreciate them more when you’re together and get to know each other more on a more intimate level than most local couples do when they first meet. But you’re far away from the person you love most of the time. Visits come and go. They can even be short. And nothing has been more painful to me than goodbyes. I cry and I feel like something inside me is missing and empty. And it slowly gets better when we see each other again but going from distance to in person to distance is one of the toughest experiences I’ve ever had to go through.
When we and Walter met online, it was purely by chance and me having the courage to message him. We talked until one day we realized we had fallen for each other. Me not knowing ANYTHING about being in a LDR and me ever wondering if we would meet, agreed to being his girlfriend. I was naive to believe this relationship would be easy just because we loved each other.
It’s super hard. You can ask the other admins if you don’t like my answer but we’ll all say its worth it in the end because of our love for our SOs. But it comes at a price. Not everyone can handle a LDR. There’s ups and downs that local couples don’t have to deal with that we do and there’s a lot of misunderstanding on the “realness” of loving someone you’ve never met in person and such.
If you wanna meet people, go talk to people here on Tumblr or talk to your friends friends who don’t go to your school even. But I’d highly recommend not looking for a LDR. Relationships don’t happen because you actively look for them. They just happened. I tried looking for a long time and never had much luck. I gave up on looking and then Walter came into my life. It just happens.
Please don’t think I’m being rude. If you did come to be in a LDR, we’d always be here to help but as for any relationship, don’t look for it. Let things happen.
This goes for anyone else who asks how to be in a LDR. Don’t believe all the romanticism surrounding a LDR as you see on TV and movies. It’s not as easy as the media portrays it to be.
This is a less of a story and more of a confidence boost:
Hey, I’m a 14 year old girl from the UK. I just want to let you know that if you’re in an LDR. It is not strange. It is actually quite common and it is okay to be in one.
Don’t let anyone bother you, you know that the person you’re with is real (and if not, make sure of it before you tell anyone…I have found to search around this person and stalk them a lot just to make sure because I am a freakin’ weirdo*) I understand about friends who say this stuff but they are only looking out for you…even if it does get a bit annoying and if it does get to you, I would suggest to; show them a picture? Let them to talk with him/her? Maybe even just, if it gets too much for you, avoid the subject and talk to those who care.
BUT NEVER bother with those hopeless strangers who pull you down and tell you how wrong you are, how stupid you are, how strange you are because if you do, it will affect you at some point, make you feel like shit for no damn reason AND even if you try to explain, sometimes they just will never understand it. They won’t even understand how you can miss someone even if you’ve never met them.
This is your relationship. You and your partner controls it. Not them. Never them.
I also want to let you know that if there is a small voice in your head saying “no” to every worry or curiosity you wanna tell your other. Just don’t follow it. Even if it’s stupid, weird, annoying. You will be okay.. and if they find it so then it’s up to you how you continue it.
I know how it feels to be like this.
I know how it feels to worry. We all know that feeling that they might drift or even find someone knew but depends on your relationship, have you set out the guidelines? Or even set up a time where you guys can cam, game, spend time with eachother? Because that’s the big issue with these relationships, how we can make it better.
If you feel alone because your anxiety, everyone’s who’s been in a LDR or even people who haven’t knows what it’s like to worry over someone you love, who makes you happy, who is so sweet and generous and kind. We all worry about that person being taken away from our lives because we hold all dear to use close. We understand that you may feel selfish but there’s no need and even if you don’t listen to me about that, it is common amongst humans to feel that way.
I know you feel like an attention seeker or maybe even emotionally or not emotionally attached. But I can where you are coming from, sometimes you even think “This won’t work.”, “This is too hard.” but the same conclusion comes down to these statements because you don’t want to let go.
"It’ll all be worth is in the end."
We know that feeling of missing their presence even if we haven’t met them yet. We know.
We all want to wrap our arms around them, to be pulled into a deep embrace, to have them whisper sweet nothings or maybe nothing at all because silence can be the best way of feeling how nervous they are, how happy they are, to see their smiling faces, or their tears of joy. To see their arms around you in a cage where you will never be let go. To smell their scent that makes you even more in love with them, to never want this moment to end ever. To hear their heartbeat constant with yours and pounding excitedly for finally touching someone, feeling their smooth skin, their head rested on their shoulder as a sign of “I trust you.” And your thoughts are aligned with theirs, thinking “How beautiful…” You or them are. This is what we are heading for, this is what makes us want to continue our relationship, we will never want to lose this amazing person.
And even if we do, we’ll feel it again in the near future because our lives are continuous and even if it doesn’t work out, there are still amazing people out there who can make you feel that way and even love them more than you ever loved your last lover.
People need to realize that there are different kinds of relationships and they can be just as common as other relationships and share the similarities even if they are very different.
Now I will go through the most common questions of an LDR (which most annoy me, I should say) :
1. BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE’S/SHE’S REAL?
Well, he’s not horny bastard all the time (no offense to guys who are horny all the time.) He’s very deep, he has a lot of emotions, he makes me laugh, whenever we are playing Minecraft together we never make any sexual innuendos…okay, I mostly do that because I guess I’m more the pervert in this relationship. People seem to assume guys are the pedo ones and horny ones but to be honest, I think I’m more of the one who says sexual stuff or flirts a lot.
He never asks to see my body and that’s the same with me. We cam every single bloody weekend/holiday, we speak to eachother a LOT. He’s definitely a boy and even if he was a girl or trans, I don’t give a fuck. He can be what he wants to be as long as it doesn’t affect our relationship.
BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW HE’S NOT FAKING?
I’m also friends with his mum on facebook and have talked to his brother, he never really lies but he is does cover up things if he doesn’t want me to know but that doesn’t refer to him being not real.
(This pisses me off since I have cam-ed with him a lot and even sent candy to him visa versa and yet they still ask. .-.)
2. WHY BE IN AN LDR?
Most people tend to find themselves in a LDR unexpectedly. Rather than giving up and breaking all ties, they choose to stay within the relationship while waiting out the “temporary” distance.
(Why the fuck not? .-.)
3. AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF HIM CHEATING?
(Fuck no. .-.)
This bullshit is bullshit. ANY partner could cheat. It doesn’t matter if it’s a LDR. LD has nothing to do with cheating. LD needs to have a very high level of trust, sure but that means you and your partner have to rise your communication and honesty. (Which are great qualities in any relationship)
4. DO YOU GUYS MASTURBATE (ECT…) IN FRONT OF EACHOTHER OTHER?
(This a question where I get from silly little boys.)
FFS, keep your mouth closed (you and they). This isn’t any of their business…tell them to fuck off or just walk away.
5. HE’S/SHE’S PROBABLY A PEDO.
*Leaves the conversation*
Anyway, I wanna tell you to be open, be happy, be safe.
ALSO SOME BACKGROUND STORY:
(This is gonna be really quick because my fingers hurt from typing).
I met my BF on Omegle under Minecraft. (He’s from Sweden btw). Three months later we start to date eachother, it’s been 6 months down the line and we never really argue that much just sometimes I get annoyed with his multitasking…c; I know you may disregard all what I said because I haven’t been in one long but this isn’t my first LDR, and I have many other experiences of it. We are also planning to meet at Minecon 2014 (if it’s in the UK ;-;) I am looking forward to it.
You might not have been in a LDR long but you have the wisdom of what a LDR is and how to keep it being a great relationship. Really important to read if you’re feeling down. Thanks for submitting! (:
The story of Dominic & Griselda :)
It all started with a friend request on Tango (which by the way i had no idea that it was possible to have friends on there) and i saw this very handsome guy named Dominic G. of course i accepted it he was just so cute! so we started talking and video chatted, and we just started to fall for each other , we talked for about 5 months before he asked me to be his girlfriend on October 13,2013 :)! one week later he told me that he was going to come visit me!!! and November 4th was the first time i met him, it was simply amazing. Of November 8th. &&&& even better news I’m going to go visit him March 8!! <3
Fighters For Love
Wow. Where to begin? My story is a little complicated and unusual compared to some on this blog…
I first met Mick in June of 2012. He is from Montreal and didn’t speak english. He was training with my karate Sensei, he is a heavyweight knockdown fighter, and staying for the whole summer. I was just starting out in Karate and wasn’t too sure about it. Little did I know it would be the best decision I’ve ever made in my life.
I was in my first serious relationship when we met and(even though I am 100% sure he is the best looking guy I have EVER met.) I didn’t have any thoughts toward him besides friends. Over the summer me and him became pretty close friends, I taught him more English and he helped me with my karate. Him and my boyfriend became good friends also. So we were around each other quite a bit.
After summer was over me and my boyfriend broke up for reasons unrelated to Mick. My ex turned out to be emotionally and sexually abusive. The relationship and breakup left me feeling worthless in many ways. January of 2013 me and Mick started talking a lot privately on Facebook. It was nothing serious at first. But with time I started to realize that I was starting to think of him as more than a friend. I never thought he could like me as more than a friend, everyone told me he was way out of my league. And my own thoughts slapped me with doubt every time I started to imagine the “what ifs”
We attended a tournament together in March 2013, it was the first time I saw him since he left the previous November, and also the first time I saw him since we started talking more. I knew after that weekend that I was falling for him. Hard. He told me shortly after that he felt the same way. And for the first time in my life, I felt like I had worth beyond just what I looked like.
April 2013 is when we became official. I can honestly say he is my world. My everything. As Cliche as it sounds, he treats me like a princess. So far beyond what I ever imagined for myself. The only arguments we have ever had is about who loves who more. He makes me happier than I have ever been in my entire life. And I will never give him up. He supports everything I do and loves me unconditionally. He’s my best friend.
It’s 300 miles between us. And we see each other as much as we can. Im currently trying to learn french ;) We plan on getting married within two years and I’ll move up to Canada with him. I am more certain about this part of my life than I am or ever have been. My parents don’t like the idea but I can’t see myself with anyone else.
04/28/2013-Forever sweety :)
My boyfriend and I actually met off of a video game. We had started talking and it just so happened he lived in a town around 20 minutes away. Over the next few months, we started liking each other. However, he’s three and a half years older than me and my parents would never allow me to do such a thing. I started sneaking out to see him but eventually got caught. It was a huge ordeal, but eventually got worked out. I do only get to see him ever so often in person though, and it’s very hard. Phone calls just aren’t enough sometimes, but when I do get to see him, it’s so much better. I love him very much. (:
i don’t really have anyone to pour my heart out to about my boyfriend, so I’ll just tell you cx
here’s our story.
we met through my best friend one summer. she kept sending him pictures of me, i don’t know why. i didn’t really care at first, but then she showed me his pictures and i was like ‘oh my god. he’a cute and you’re sending him bad pictures of me!’ i was sooo embarrassed. one day, she said something about me and showed me. it was really weird and not true, so i sent him a friend request and once he accepted, i messaged him saying it wasn’t true. we talked nonstop after that. i developed a crush on him pretty fast, but my best friend liked him too, so i didn’t say anything. then.. he got a girlfriend. i was heartbroken. we stopped talking for a while. it just hurt me too much to hear him talk about her or anything, especially since she was local and could actually be with him. well, they broke up after a bit, and he started messaging me again. it was kinda awkward at first. i was mad, honestly. when we first started talking again, i tried to ignore him. i tried to stay mad. but i missed him.. so much. well, we got closer again, everything was great. we talked nonstop again. then.. other girls from my school started adding him and talking to him. -_- they’re 11. 6th grade. i shouldn’t have been jealous, but oh my god. i was. one of the girls posted pictures of him and made him her cover and that just crossed the line for me. i was so jealous. i couldn’t take it anymore, it was tearing me apart. we had talked about dating multipul times, but neither of us really asked. i wrote him this big paragraph. i didn’t mean to send it, i chickened out. but my hand slipped, and he message sent. i was about to bash my head into a wall. but he said yes. he said i made him so happy. he asked if i was sure. i was melting. were still going strong to this day, thankfully. we have never really fought. but man, i get jealous so easily. i love him, i don’t want to lose him.
i left a few things out:
he is 19, im 14. (please, none of that “you’re only fourteen, you don’t know what love is” or “that’s illegal” its not. he has never touched me. nor has he ever sent me or recieved any inappropriate pictures from me. also, he lives in Florida and i live in Iowa.
Advice for Surviving a Long-Distance Relationship
Hello! My name is Raquel and my girlfriend’s name is Bre. We’ve been dating almost a year and have been long distance for about five months. We go to school 2,000 miles apart but we are going strong and still very much in love. We recently started writing a blog together and our most recent post is 6 tips we’ve discovered through our own experience on how to survive a long distant relationship. We would love if you would give it a look and let us know if you find it helpful or not. We would also love to answer any of your questions, give you more advice,or tell you more about our experience. Below is a link to the post on our Tumblr.
LionBear: Together, Apart — How to Survive A Long-Distant Relatiohship
Thank you so much and best of wishes to you all! <3