Welcome to LDS! This is a place for people in long distance relationships of any kind to post their stories, ask for advice, share ideas, etc. All of our admins are extremely open-minded and strive to be as helpful as we can. We've also provided a lot of information in pages we've created, so please check out the links all the way to the left before asking questions. Thank you for stopping by!
Anonymous asked: I started talking to a guy over Instagram. He's really sweet to me and the other day we facetimed. I was feeling butterflies and coundnt stop thinking about him. We FaceTimed again and idk if there were too many distractions but I didn't feel any butterflies and I'm sad becuse I like him he's really nice but I'm worried I'm not feeling it and he is. Should I give it more time?
Give it time.
There’s a reason this stage of a relationship is often referred to as being like a roller coaster: There are big highs and even bigger lows. The attraction doesn’t run deep enough for you not to nitpick at small flaws. One second you like the sound of his voice, and the next you’re concerned because you realize he only ever wears khaki pants. It happened to all of us.
Don’t sweat it, and don’t move too fast just in case he really isn’t right for you. But, yes, I say give it time.
Anonymous asked: So, there was this guys that I met online and we've been talking to each other for four months. We've been really close to each other, we're sweet to each other, he told me I'm his special girl but he never asked me to be his girlfriend. But, we had this problem, he stopped talking to me. Last sunday, i was a sad and depressed about lots of things, he's been there for me, to comfort me but I always tell him, that I think I'm bothering him that he might not really care at all. -to be continued..
He told me that I should not tell those things because he really care for me and it pisses him off. after that, we became okay. The next day, I still feel sad again,and I said the same kind of words to him after that he never replied. I keep msging him and I asked what’s wrong, he replied he told me he will not leave me, he told me he just need to get something across. Idk, what that means. what shld I do? I feel so pathetic for always msging him and begging him to talk to me. :/
Let me bring out some of my mother’s wisdom: “If someone makes you beg, they’re not the right person for you.” You deserve a relationship where love is freely given, not tested or made as a vehicle to prove a point. Hard as it is, it’s time to stop begging. Your significant other seems to be wanting to prove how important he is to you, but fact is, his reply to you was a touch domineering (he’s controlling you in this way). It seems like he’s drawing satisfaction from this, and that’s simply not healthy.
Anonymous asked: hey, I don't know if i'm overreacting or something, but there was a time when I couldn't talk to my ldbf for about a week. I told him about it and all I got was a straight bye. when I told other friends that live farther away from me, they asked why etc, stuff people ask, but from him I just got one word that's it, not even an I love you. should I be bothered by this or point it out?
If something your significant other does ever bothers you, please point it out, because they might not even realize that they’re irritating you, or hurting your feelings! This goes for everyone: Scott has a habit of saying “yeah, yeah, okay” to agree with me as explaining something, and he didn’t know it bugged me for five years!
I would be upset in your case. I think you should express that this hurt your feelings, and explain that you would have preferred to have had a more caring response.
Anonymous asked: Hey, I'm the girl that will move in a week near her ldb. I did saw him in Skype by videochat many multiple times, he sent me pictures of him and stuff. He told me that he would actually give me his number so I could call him but he just dissappeared two weeks ago. My departure date is really close and yet he still ignored all of my messages :'( yesterday I said that it was better to breakup, he saw the message and still no answer. He says he doesn't use any social network. What should I do?
I think it would be best to consider the relationship over, and focus on yourself and your move. You’ve done your best to contact him, and when you told him that you would like to break up, he didn’t even have the courtesy to tell you he felt the same way, but I interpret his silence as acceptance or agreement. I’m sorry he has been so disrespectful to you. It could be that he was expecting this to remain long-distance, and never become anything more, and therefore withheld information from you (I still view some of his actions as suspicious, even though you have seen him via chat) because of it. Then, when he figured out you were moving, he couldn’t figure out what to do, so, instead of coming clean, he chose to ignore it.
I know my speculation won’t mean nearly so much as an explanation from him, but I hope it helped somewhat. Once again, I’m sorry that you had to go through this, and we’re here to help you heal.
So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years and we haven’t met yet but his dad said he would take him to where I live during spring break. Everyone in my family knows about us except for my step dad. I was wondering how I would tell him without him just saying no and giving me a lecture about why can’t I date someone I can actually see because this is my second long distance relationship and the first one he didn’t take too well because of the way we met and some other situations but this is different. We met through mutual friends instead of on the internet or something like that . We’re closer in age , we talk everyday, we oovoo , and just overall its better than the first one so please can you help or give me some advice ? BTW I loveeeeee this account ! (: ❤❤❤
Why don’t you start by explaining to you stepdad how this relationship is different from the first one you had in all the ways you have just told us. Try and show him that you understand his fears are only for your safety and happiness but that you have learnt from your last LDR and this one is more stable and happy. Try to tell him how important to you it is that he gives your SO a chance and not to judge this relationship based on the one before it. Just try and be honest with him and show him how different this LDR is and that he should give your boyfriend a chance now that you have the chance to meet up. Best of luck - Cath
Anonymous asked: My ldb And i was talking last sunday at night, And all was ok! But since that day he dont talk to me, he is not online on skype :( I dont know If he is busy or just dont want talk to me because he was online in other social page And didnt write to me! I feel so bad now, i dont know what think or what to do! Im afraid he wants leave me! Im over thinking? Any advice ?
I would say that although I know it’s easy to assume he’s lost interest in you, don’t immediately think that! He probably is busy, and maybe his computer/phone automatically logs him in to other social medias (mine does).
Why don’t you try leaving him a skype message to come back to saying that you are missing talking to him and you hope he can talk soon, without any accusations. Try and calm down - he probably has a good reason for being quiet. There’s no need to stress yourself out over it yet.
Anonymous asked: Hey! :) so I've been in an ldr for about two years now and we'll "meet" shortly. Actually I'll move near him for about one year so we'll be really close. The thing is he stopped replying to any of my messages for about two weeks now, I don't know any of his friends or anything but he's online whenever I get to skype. I think it's super weird considering the fact that I'll move next week and he just dissappeared :/
You’ve moving next week, he is aware of this and he hasn’t sent you a message in regard to how you are doing, or to extend his help to you once you arrive in his city? To me, that is totally unacceptable, and it sounds to me that your significant other is not an adult at all, and extraordinarily disrespectful to you. You deserve so much more than this! I sincerely hope that this move was made for your best interests, because it sounds to me that your significant other is not so much concerned with what is best for you, as what is best for him, and you simply cannot have that in a mature relationship.
Obviously, there are exceptions to the rule (he’s in the hospital, etc…) but my suspicions overrule these, when you know nobody in his life to contact after two years, not even a friend. All of this indicates your significant other has deceived you in some manner. Have you seen him on Skype video chat? Do you have his Facebook or other social media. Please, as you proceed with your move, handle this situation with caution as I do believe it is a dangerous one.
Anonymous asked: Hey! I'm so happy this blog exists! it gives me hope. I've been in a ldr for a year now; he lives in MS (24yrs old) & I'm in NC (18yrs). He's done everything from sending me pizza to spending bajillion hours on Skype. I trust him fully & from what I've seen he seems like an honest person. We're starting to save up so he can come visit me for a week (I'm at a univ) but I don't know if I'm being foolish in trusting him. Also my parents flat out hate my online friends/dating so idk if this is okay
I’m glad this community is giving you hope!
You say you trust your significant other fully, but then you say you don’t know if you are foolish to do so. You haven’t mentioned any specific reason you have not to trust him, other than the fact you haven’t met in person. If you have any other concerns (not sure if he’s using his real name, is withholding other information) then please, put any visit on-hold and let us know, so we can lead you to a resolution.
I think, that given this week-long visit would be the first time the two of you see one another in person, some caution is very healthy. Would it help you if the two of you saved for him to stay at a hotel or nearby hostel (depending on your area), so there wasn’t the pressure of him staying with you for a week? I don’t personally recommend that significant others stay with one another during a first meet, especially without a backup plan. Your university might also offer guest rooms, if you live on-campus (mine did, for $29 a night). That’s definitely something to look into!
As far as your parents are concerned, I think it is wise to make them aware of the situation for your safety.
Anonymous asked: I'm so sad. I've been with my SO for a little over 2 years, and is started out as an LDR, but we've been together constantly for most of the time other than the first few months. But now I'm going home and it'll be a few months until I can see him and I'll be back in an emotionally manipulative home. I sound so whiny, but I feel really lost without my best friend, which is why I'm sad that it'll be an LDR again. :(
You don’t sound whiny, not at all. You sound sad, and aware that your current permanent living situation is not the best for your emotional or physical health. That awareness won’t drown you, it will save you. Take these few months to focus on yourself, and the positive influences in your life. Figure out what loose ends you need to tie up in the present, so that you can live independently, outside of your home, in the future. Once you are able to improve your living situation, your relationship can only improve.
In the meantime, long-distance will be difficult, and you know that. You also know it will definitely be worth it. It sounds like yourself and your significant other have a great relationship.This community will be here for you as you adapt once more to the distance. Good luck.
Anonymous asked: My boyfriend and I have only been dating a month but it is long distance. Our relationship was only in person for about 4 days. He's in basic training right now for the army so I can't really talk to him and it only seems to be getting harder. The next time I can see him is March 10th. He told me he would write me letters but he hasn't yet and I think it's because he's busy. But I could use some advice on how to keep going until March. Thanks :)
http://milsotherapy.tumblr.com/ is a milso support blog and they can help you better than we can because they are meant to specifically help military partners. Let them know we sent you!
Anonymous asked: Hey im in my LDR now for 7 months and it's honestly been the hardest thing, because lately its been really awkward with him. he just came back from air force training as well. i've been opening up more like with small talks on text and I just noticed he has been unresponsive. we phone call a lot and that ends up well, but I can't ALWAYS talk to him on the phone. is he tired of me? I feel so lame to him right now that I cant help but think that he's probably thinking of finding someone else.
Communication is key and you need to talk to him about how you’re feeling because we cannot tell you what’s going on in his head. From my experience as a military significant other, they’re busy and they have their mind on their job so phone calls are best. If you can’t take 5 or 10 minutes our of your day to be on the phone with him, you may have to deal with shortness. Tell him how you’re feeling though because he can easily just not know he’s talking a certain way. Military training, more or less, rewires their brains and sometimes they need to be redirected on how to be a partner.
nerdlover1221 asked: I start being in a long distance tomorrow. We just met about a month ago, but have fallen in love. He's planning on moving back after we both graduate high school. It's only a year, but I know it's going to be hard. Do you have any advice?
Communication is key. Trust each other until the other gives you real doubt. Try to have a weekly video chat date via skype/oovoo/ect. Talk on the phone whenever possible. Send each other letters and care packages - it’s always nice to be able to hold things your partner touched when you can’t hold them. Try to visit on breaks if at all possible. Do not make each other the complete center of each others lives. By that I mean still focus on school, clubs, activities, and what have you. Always make time for each other though even if it’s a text every day to let the other person know they’re on your mind saying something different.
funmikelilo asked: Hey there! Just wanted to say this is a pretty awesome blog. I have known my long distance boyfriend for about 6 years now (though only officially together for 2). He went into basic training for the US Airforce last week which is pretty blah since we usually talk every single day. Something that did come out of it though is that his mother added me on Facebook and is pretty nice, even offering to print out my letters for him and send it along, a god send as i am in Fiji. Happy posting :)
Ah basic training for the Air Force is where I live. That’s very sweet of her. When my (ex) husband was going through boot camp, letters are what kept us both going. I’m happy she’s doing that for you and I hope you can see him sooner rather than later!